The Bottle Has Shattered
by Blue Seidr
Summary: Bottles can only hold so much before they crack and shatter. Leo's is no different. He can only cram so much into his bottle, refusing to deal with it and shoving it away deep down. The bottle has been overfilled though, and it has shattered, letting all the hurt Leo's denied be fully known for the first time. (Horrible summary, sorry. Drabble-ish, T for safety)


**Hi. I have no idea where this came from. Period. I guess it's a drabble. A rather long one, but a drabble. I'm sorry if it makes no sense. Enjoy.**

Leo ran with furious energy, teeth gritted in a painful grimace, muscles tensed, fists clenched tightly. His heart was beating like a rabbits, which may not have been totally healthy, but Leo didn't care. He had to do something to let this pain out.

He didn't know where it all came from. Well, that wasn't true. He knew exactly where it came from. It came from that tiny bottle deep inside him where he crammed all his negative emotions. What he didn't know was what had let all that pain out. It had been a normal night . . . They had just been coming in from a quiet patrol . . .

Right. He remembered now. Raph had started going at him, teasing at first. Why, Leo had no clue. It was harmless poking, but Leo didn't see it like that. Every crack at his leadership, at his worrisome, overprotective nature, it hurt. A lot. Leo never let that show, though, and crammed it into that tiny bottle. The bottle would only hold so much. It cracked. Leo cracked. He had yelled at Raph, yelled to stop, to leave him alone. Raph had been so stunned, and Leo had turned tail and ran. That's where he was now. Running.

He knew Raph hadn't deserved that. He should go back and apologize, but - not now. Not when his bottle was broken. He could feel the contents - rage, annoyance, fear, hurt - burning and pulsing inside him, swirling with a tight, fast power. He couldn't go back to his brothers without his emotions under control. He was the Fearless Leader. He couldn't show his emotions, he couldn't be vulnerable. And he felt so vulnerable and raw and _exposed_ with his undesirable emotions on a rampage.

And how exactly could he explain his behavior? Raph hadn't done anything, nothing he hadn't done a thousand times before, anyway. His behavior would seem unprovoked and unacceptable. And it was. The thing was, Raph _had _done it a thousand times before, and that's what caused it. Leo siphoned all those insults, all those jabs at him, all his fears and insecurities, and stored them all into this tiny little jar inside him, where he buried them and pushed them away, refusing to deal with them and let them get to him, or even fully reach him. He was leader. He couldn't let his emotions cloud his judgement, or he could screw up. If _he _screwed up, _his brothers_ would pay for it, and he couldn't let that happen.

He stuffed it all away. But a bottle will only hold so much. Bottles fill up, and Leo's was no different. Eventually, bottles won't hold anymore, and will overflow, or crack and shatter. Leo's bottle had just shattered that night. Little by little, it had been filled up with insults, his own fears and insecurities about himself, and the pressure and hatred of being leader.

It was nothing huge that set it off. That one little joke about his fighting, it had been the final straw. It was small, yet too large for the bottle to hold. The bottle had cracked, then shattered into a thousand sharp pieces, letting all those feelings free and fill Leo. It was overwhelming, dealing with all those emotions at once. Leo snapped, lashing out instinctively at the closest person, which had been Raph. He didn't know who had been more shocked, Raph or himself. All he knew, he had fury and pain burning and crackling inside him, and he was letting it out on everything around him. He couldn't let it be let out on Raph.

Leo panted, then stopped running and half sat, half collapsed on the ground. He had run himself into the ground for who knows how long, but it wasn't working. He could still feel that cocktail of horrible feelings inside him, in every fiber of his being. His head, his heart, his throat and stomach. It was everywhere, the pain, the hurt, the dull anger. It was overpowering, and before he knew it, hot tears were running down his face.

Gosh, he hated this. He hated being leader. His brothers may think otherwise, but Leo hated being leader. He hated all that pressure he was put under by others and the pressure he put on himself. If anything happened, it was his fault. If his brother got hurt, his fault. If they snuck out, his fault. If they got in trouble, his fault. He had to plan for everything, make sure everything turned out okay. All of it, every single thing, it was on him, because he was leader. And what did he get in return for this burden? Jokes, insults, mutiny, and additional pressure. And all of that went into his little bottle.

For the first time, Leo was fully feeling all of the hurt, all of the pain. It was like fire, burning him on the inside and the out. And it was still there. Why? Why hadn't it left during his run? Or through the tears?

The pain was clawing at his throat now. Leo swallowed, trying to force it down. He needed control again. He needed his bottle back. He couldn't take dealing with his emotions. He wanted them gone, squashed back into that recess of his heart where he could ignore them and only feel satisfaction and numbness.

He tried to push it back down, but his emotions were wild beasts. They were no longer under his command, and they were climbing up his throat, entering his mouth. They crossed his tongue, and Leo felt his lips crack apart. A low moan, a soft, pitiful sound slipped out. Salty tears slipped in, and Leo swallowed them nervously. The tears only seemed to energize the swirling mass of red-black emotions that were desperate to get to his mouth, and they became more persistent in forcing their way out.

Leo moaned louder, letting his emotions take him over completely. The moan grew louder and louder, higher and higher, until it wasn't a groan. It was a scream. Leo screamed into the air, a full-throated, primal scream. Leo squeezed his eyes shut, curling up into a ball with his hands clutched tight to his plastron, screwing up his face and crying even harder. Tears streamed down his face in rivers, and he became conscious of the fact he wasn't letting his emotions control him, but was pushing the scream out of him, throwing everything into it.

He screamed until he couldn't breathe, and he was gasping for breath, hiccuping over his bursts of airs, choking on his tears. He screamed until he couldn't, and then he cried.

For once, he didn't care if anyone heard, if anyone saw. Who cared? He was broken inside, and he was letting it be known by becoming broken on the outside.

He sobbed over himself in his tiny little ball, occasionally breaking the cry to scream. He seemed to do this for eternity, forcing the pain out of him and watching it swirl around him, engulfing him.

Why did it hurt so much? He was venting it all out, but there was always more deep inside him, and it hurt so much. How much hurt had he taken? How much fear and anger had he repressed? Far too much for one turtle to deal with at once, he thought. It felt like his emotions were stabbing his heart, and it _hurt_. It was killing him.

A hand was rested on his shoulder, and Leo flinched violently. He looked up through cloudy eyes and saw a red and green blur. Arms were wrapped tight around, engulfing him in a tight, fierce hug. Leo didn't fight it, and instead buried his face against a plastron, wrapping his own arms around his brother Raph. They hugged in silence for an immeasurable amount of time, Leo sobbing on Raph while Raph rubbed circles on Leo's shell.

"It hurts." Was the first thing Leo whispered.

"What hurts?" Raph asked softly back. Was Leo injured? Was that why he was howling and screaming and crying?

"Everything." Leo sighed as he sobbed, resting his whole body against Raph. "Every little thing."

**The ending is kind of iffy for me, so if you have any suggestions, I'm happy to hear them. Suggestions about anything, in fact, I'll take.**

**Please review!**

**See you next time,**

**-Blue**


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